Raven and Skull
Wednesday, 22 July 2020
Raven and Skull by Ashley Lister
Jean-Paul Sartre said, 'Hell is other
people.' But he was only half right. Hell is the other people who work in the
offices of Raven and Skull. After a week of horror and upset, six colleagues
from the Raven and Skull offices get together in the pub to exchange stories
and decide which of them has had the worst week. Each one has had a week
plagued by adultery, theft, betrayal, murder, cannibalism, black magic and
death. The stories they share are dark and twisted and reflect the regular
reality of Raven and Skull.
Do you dare to hear what they have to
say?
1
“Tell us about a time you
nearly died, Tony.”
Heather’s suggestion was greeted by a barrage of laughter.
There were half a dozen of
them sitting around the table – the last souls left in an otherwise empty bar.
Drained beer bottles and lipstick-smudged glasses stood between them like
abstract monuments to the memories of good times gone. The darkness outside the
bar window was fading to the apocalyptic grey of another dawn.
Tony glanced at his five
colleagues and flashed an automatic grin. He hadn’t yet drunk enough beer to be
light-headed, but he could feel the mood around the table was shifting. The
evening had started as an early weekend escape from the offices of Raven and
Skull; a two fingered salute to the workplace in the time-honoured tradition of
every godforsaken Friday. After a grim week working nine-to-five – a grimmer
week than any of them were used to suffering – Geoff’s idea that they should
get pissed and have a laugh together had seemed like a stroke of pure genius.
But now, whilst the maudlin veil of melancholy felt like it was finally
lifting, Tony thought it was revealing something strange, unpleasant and
potentially dangerous.
It was no surprise that they
were talking about death.
Given the events of the
previous week it would have been more surprising if that topic hadn’t come up.
But the fact that they were laughing about the subject seemed somehow
unnatural, twisted and grisly.
“Go on,” Becky encouraged.
Out of all of them, Becky
looked the worst for wear after a night on the sauce. Geoff had nudged a glass of
red down her white blouse, leaving a bloody stain over her right breast. Her
usual pristine office composure had been destroyed as the night dragged her
downwards. She now wore snagged tights and a snapped heel. With her hair awry
and her eye make-up smeared, she looked like she had fought her way off a
mortician’s slab. Smiling blearily, and clearly unaware of how wrecked her
appearance was, Becky slurred her words when she repeated her request. “Go on,
Tony. Tell us a story.”
“Someone get the next round,”
Tony decided. “And I’ll tell you a story.” He raised a warning finger as Geoff
disappeared in the direction of the bar.
Glancing purposefully at Heather, he said, “But I won’t tell you about a
time I nearly died. I’ll tell you about a time when I thought I was going to
die…”
2
“Wednesday night I worked
late. Ordinarily I’m the first person out of the office come five thirty. The
idea of staying on to catch up with work is unheard of. But, with us being hit
by three deaths in that one week, I was trying to clear a backlog of my own
work and struggling to organise interviews, redistribute accounts, deal with
client apology letters and get on top of all the rest of that miserable
nonsense. I’d locked myself in the boardroom on the fourteenth floor and I was
working with four laptops and the active paper files for Chloe, Nicola and
Shaun.”
Geoff had brought a tray
with fresh drinks. When those three
names were mentioned all six of the colleagues raised their glasses in silent
toast to the memories of Chloe, Nicola and Shaun.
Tony took a deep breath
before continuing. “I’d got my iPod playing,” he admitted. “I don’t normally use the thing whilst I’m
supposed to be working but I figured it was late, I was alone in the building,
and there was no chance I was going to miss a call or not hear someone talking
to me. And I think it was helping me to get through the work more effectively.
I’d got it tuned into my classical tracks, I was listening to Saint-Saëns’ Danse Macabre, and the job was moving along with
surprising speed. I was lost in my own little world of file allocations,
schedules and prioritising.” He drew a deep breath and said, “I looked up from
my paperwork and almost shit my pants. Moira was standing over me.”
Heather laughed.
Becky sprayed a mouthful of
red onto her skirt. The droplets looked like something from the blood spatter
analysis of an inner city’s forensic laboratory.
Geoff sat back in his seat,
chuckling.
Cindy and Richard pressed
close together in their single seat. They smiled approval and nodded for Tony
to continue.
“I hadn’t realised Moira was
in the building,” Tony went on. “I hadn’t thought there was anyone in the
building. The iPod, and my involvement in the files had created a vacuum where
nothing else existed. And so, when I looked up and saw that stone-faced old hag
from accounts glowering down at me, I came close to having a heart attack. I
pulled the earphones out of my ear and tried not to look like I’d just soiled
myself…”
3
“Mr
Wade,” Moira began.
She
had the sort of raspy voice that suggested a lifetime of smoking and lungs the
colour of a tramp’s underpants. Tony could hear every syllable struggling to
make its way through layers of yellowing phlegm and tar-blackened bronchioles
as Moira gasped his name in her gravel-strewn death rattle.
“I’m
glad I found you here alone, Mr Wade. I’ve been wanting to talk to someone from
management.”
Tony
pointed to a seat and waited for Moira to sit down. His heart pounded from the
surprise of discovering he wasn’t alone in the building. He didn’t particularly
want to talk with Moira – ideally he would have been happier finishing his work
and going home – but there was no polite way to dismiss her from the office
without causing offence. Telling himself that a break from the workload might
not be such a bad idea, he stretched his neck until it cracked and then he
settled back in his chair.
“What’s
the problem, Moira?”
Silence.
He
could hear the sounds of the office around him as the building breathed. The
heavy sigh of an expectant printer, the constant whisper of fluorescents above,
and the tinny faraway crackle of Saint-Saëns’ Danse Macabre building to its distant conclusion from his iPod
speakers. He studied her eyes – the whites turned rheumy yellow and the pupils
a black that was unnervingly deep – and waited for a response. Although Moira
had been with the office since he began working there, it was the first time he
had sat in the same room with the woman and studied her at such close
proximity. Her hair was a tangle of grey barbs. Her face was a relief map of
porous flesh and ravine-deep wrinkles. There was a wart on her jawline, a
gnarled lump of discoloured flesh sprouting a dozen short black hairs. Tony
thought the hairs looked like insect legs wriggling from beneath her skin.
Previously, he had thought Moira was another of the forgotten office drones; a
dinosaur from accounts plodding towards extinction. But staring into her eyes,
he got the impression that she might be far more than he had ever imagined. The
thought trailed an icy finger down his spine.
“What’s
the problem, Moira? What did you want to talk about?”
“I
think I might have killed them.”
In
her raspy, cancerous voice, Moira’s admission sounded gruesome. Tony’s smile
faltered and he fumbled with the iPod for a moment to silence the nuisance of
the whispered music.
“Killed
them? Killed who?”
“Chloe.
Nicola. Shaun. I think I killed them.”
“They
weren’t murdered,” Tony reminded her. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when
Moira appeared in his office but this confession was so far removed from his
expectations he found himself doing mental gymnastics as he tried to understand
what she was saying. “Chloe had that unfortunate encounter with her boyfriend,
Nicola had–”
“I
know how they died, Mr Wade,” Moira
rasped. She didn’t bother to hide her impatience. She sat close enough so Tony
could smell the foetid scent of her breath when she spat the words. The pungent
fragrance reminded him of sweat-stained sickbeds.
“I
know that they died of supposedly
natural causes,” Moira assured him. “But I still think I might have killed
them. I think I might have killed all of them. And more besides. I think that’s
what I do for Raven and Skull.”
“Why
do you think that?”
“I’ve
been knitting.”
This
time Tony knew he was responsible for the protracted silence. He tried to work
out if Moira’s comment was as absurd as it initially sounded, or if he could
possibly be overlooking something obvious.
“You’ve
been knitting?” The conversation had the surreal headiness of something from an
art movie or a badly translated foreign language sitcom. He understood the
words but the meaning behind those words was just a little bit beyond his
grasp. Tony closed his eyes and rubbed the heel of one hand against his
forehead. For a brief instant he expected Moira to have disappeared when he
opened his eyes. To his disappointment, he found her still sitting there and
facing him. Drawing a deep breath he said, “You’ve been knitting. And you think
that killed Chloe, Nicola and Shaun?”
Moira
nodded.
Forcing
himself to appear patient, Tony asked, “Why would you think that, Moira? You’ll
have to explain it to me because I can’t quite see the connection.”
She
graced him with a look of contempt that he had seen before. It was the same
belligerent question he had seen in the eyes of too many lesser ranking
employees who were either disgruntled or disappointed. It was a silent
expression that asked, “How did you get
to be in such a responsible position when you know so little?” Since moving
up to management level Tony had become used to receiving the expression. It was
most often shot at him during disciplinary hearings and assessment reviews.
“I
knitted for each of them,” Moira began. She lowered her gaze to the
file-cluttered surface of the boardroom table. Her creased and time-rumpled
features looked painfully heavy. “I knitted for Chloe, Nicola and Shaun,” she
murmured. “And now they’re all dead. It’s my fault.” She hitched a breath – the
sound of an ugly animal in pain – and then raised her gaze to meet Tony’s.
“Have you ever heard of the Fates?”
She
was making no sense and was jumping sporadically from one topic to another.
Tony wondered if she was always like this or if this evening’s irrationality
might be symptomatic of some condition. If he had known her a little better he
would have felt qualified to judge. Because this was proving to be the longest
conversation he’d ever had with Moira, he felt cruel deciding she was a
headcase just because her way of speaking didn’t perfectly match his
expectations.
“The
Fates?” he repeated. He wondered if it might be a brand of knitting wool or
maybe some pop group from a bygone era with which she was more familiar. Either
seemed likely and promised to make as much sense as anything else in this
abstract conversation. Glancing slyly at one of the open laptops on his desk,
noting that the time was getting late, he fixed his smile into a rictus of
forced politeness and said, “No, Moira. I don’t think I have heard of the
Fates. What are they?”
“The
Greeks called them the Fates. Clotho. Lachesis. Atropos.”
Tony
said nothing. He was trying to think of a way to get Moira to leave the office
so that he could finish the remainder of his work and then puzzle about the new
problem of the woman from accounts and her questionable sanity.
“The
Fates controlled every destiny. Clotho span the thread of life. Lachesis
measured the length of each thread. Atropos cut the thread with her abhorrèd
shears.”
“One of us is fucking crazy, Moira,” Tony
thought. He wondered if the crazy person in the room was the one spouting
rubbish about Greek mythology or the one sat listening to her instead of
getting on with a demanding workload of unpaid overtime.
“Clotho,
Lachesis and Atropos,” Moira repeated.
Tony
didn’t know why but those names conjured up images of three haggard crones bent
over with age and the weight of their onerous tasks. It was easy to see them as
the witches from Macbeth with their plotting, cursing and general doom prophecies.
A rash of goosebumps tickled down his forearms.
“Greek
gods,” he said, nodding. “Is that who they were, yes?”
“No.”
She regarded him with another sneer of contempt. “The Fates weren’t mere gods.” She spat the final two words
with a disgust that was palpable. “The Fates were so powerful that even the
gods feared them.”
“And
what does this have to do with–”
“The
Fates had the perfect system,” Moira broke in. “Clotho span the thread of life.
Clotho was responsible for the quality and colour of each person’s life.
Lachesis used her measuring rod to decide how long each person’s allotted time
would be. And Atropos ended each of those lives with her abhorrèd shears.”
“Abhorrèd shears,” Tony thought. “That’s twice she’s said that now.” He
didn’t like the phrase – it made him want to shiver and shift in his seat. “I
still don’t see what these three–”
“They
were like the Holy Trinity,” she exclaimed. “The Father, the Son and the Holy
Spirit: one in essence.” Her low, raspy voice had increased in pitch and
volume.
Listening
to her, Tony had the lunatic idea that he was hearing something older than
time. There was the mad thought at the back of his mind that, if he
concentrated just a little harder, all her words would begin to make sense and
he might stumble on truths he had never really wished to uncover. He rubbed his
forehead again.
“It’s
been a long day,” he began, wearily. “And you must think I’m a real idiot for
not getting this straight away. But I don’t know how your knitting and these
three gods–”
“Fates!”
“–Fates,”
he amended, “all tie together with Chloe, Nicola and Shaun’s deaths.” He flexed
a grin that was meant to inspire sympathy and maybe some understanding.
Moira
stared at him with dead black eyes.
“What
am I missing?”
“I
think I’m the Fates,” Moira told him. Her voice had returned to its previous
tone. She spoke in a low, coarse whisper. “I’m the essence of Clotho, Lachesis
and Atropos.”
Tony
nodded and tried to present a facade that was solemn with sympathy and sage
understanding. “Nutty as a fucking
fruitcake,” he decided. First thing in the morning he was going to send a
memo to human resources and have them arrange a leave of absence for Moira. If
there was any way of insisting on a psychiatric evaluation before she was
allowed to return to the office then he was going to make that recommendation
too.
“Last
week I took it upon myself to knit Chloe a woolly jumper,” Moira said,
earnestly.
Tony
glanced at the open laptops and realised his overtime was now a lost cause. It
would take the best part of an hour after he was rid of Moira to get his
thoughts back to the zone where they had been when he was reorganising
schedules and remembering the technicalities of all the clients being dealt
with by Chloe, Nicola and Shaun. The thought was disheartening and he had to
make a physical effort not to show his anger to Moira.
“I’d
thought she looked cold,” Moira continued. “I know it’s fashionable for young
girls to wear short skirts and next to nothing in the way of clothes, but Chloe
always looked chilly because of it.”
“Chloe
died of extensive head trauma,” Tony said, softly.
Moira
wasn’t listening. “I remember cutting the final thread for her jumper at ten
o’clock on Sunday night. Last Sunday night. The news had just come on the
telly. When I close my eyes I can still hear the theme tune to the news. That
and the rusty snipping sound of those abhorrèd shears.”
Tony
studied her, warily.
“When
I came into the office on Monday, I had the jumper wrapped up in a parcel for
her. Nicola was crying and she told me that Chloe had died the previous night.
She told me that Chloe had died at ten o’clock – just when I was cutting her
thread.” Moira stayed silent for a moment, allowing Tony to digest what she had
said.
He
shook his head. “No. That’s just coincidence.” The acoustics in the boardroom
stopped his words from carrying any real conviction.
“Nicola
asked me what was in the parcel,” Moira continued. Her low and raspy voice was
now a flat monotone. There was no inflection of remorse or upset in the way she
spoke. She was either mechanically reiterating facts or she had simply stopped
caring. “Nicola thought the wool I’d used on Chloe’s jumper was lovely. It was
a lilac cashmere. She asked if I had any left and, when I said I had a little,
she asked if I could knit a beret for her.”
Tony
shifted uneasily in his chair.
Moira’s
level gaze remained fixed on him. “I finished knitting that beret on the Monday
night. Do you know what time I finished?”
“I
really think you’re making–”
“Do
you know what time I finished? Do you know what time I cut her thread with my
abhorrèd shears?”
Tony
thought, “Stop saying those words!”
Aloud
he said, “Nicola died at six o’clock. She was hit by a train and died
instantly.”
“That’s
when I finished her beret.”
Her
lips parted and the corners twisted upwards. Tony saw that she was attempting a
hideous parody of a smile. The result made him nauseous.
“Are
you starting to believe me, Mr Wade?”
He
coughed and cleared his throat. “This is foolishness, Moira.” He tried to
inject an appropriate note of authority into his voice but it refused to ring
with any real conviction. “This is nothing more than coincidence and, if you
sat down and thought about it, you’d realise that I’m right. You’re not these
Greek gods–”
“Fates!”
“–Fates.
You’re not these Greek Fates. You’re just Moira from accounts who enjoys
knitting in her spare time. You’ve obviously been upset by the death of your
colleagues. We’ve all been upset and we’re all grieving. But I think you could
use the help of a counsellor. I’m going to recommend to human resources that
they arrange for–”
“I
figured it out with Nicola,” Moira told him.
Her
words killed everything Tony had been about to say.
“When
Nicola died at six o’clock, the same time I was cutting her thread, I knew my
knitting was responsible for her death. I found out about it on the Tuesday. I
was sick to the stomach thinking that I’d done that to her and I wondered how I
could prove it and how I could try to make amends. That was when I started to knit a scarf for
Shaun.”
Tony
simply stared at her.
“You
can write a reprimand for me if you like,” Moira went on. “But I didn’t bother
doing any work for the office that morning. I simply picked up my needles and
pulled out some black wool I’d brought with me. I thought about Shaun because –
well…” Her level gaze skewered Tony to his seat. “…I’m sure you can understand
why I chose Shaun.”
The
smile had disappeared from her face. She now wore an expression of cold
intensity. “I saw him smirking at the water cooler. He’d just made a crass
remark about Nicola catching the train. He was talking to that nice girl Heather
and she looked appalled by his insensitivity. That’s why I picked on him. I
told him I was going to knit him a scarf to keep himself warm now winter was
approaching. He said he wanted one as long as his cock, so he suggested I
should go out and get some more wool. Then he laughed in that cruel and nasty
way of his. It made me more anxious to knit the scarf for him. I’ve never done
any knitting as industrious as that. If I had any sense for the fanciful I’d be
telling you that sparks were flying from the tips of my needles as they clashed
together. I really was working at a blistering speed but I think, if anyone had
seen me, they would have just noticed an old woman with her knitting, making a
rather formal scarf. I cut his thread exactly at noon. Do you remember what
time Shaun died, Mr Wade? I think you do remember because you were the one who
spoke to the police about the incident, weren’t you?”
“The
lift malfunctioned at noon,” Tony said, quietly.
“Noon,”
Moira repeated. “I cut his thread at noon and I killed him.”
“No.”
Tony shook his head. “I refuse to accept that this is anything more than
coincidence. You’re just–”
“Would
you like me to knit you something, Mr Wade?”
To continue enjoying Raven and Skull, you can find the full length title here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08CCK4MBV/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=raven+and+skull+ashley+lister&qid=1593924195&s=books&sr=1-1
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