Those Who Are About to Graduate: We Salute You

Today sees the graduation of several students with whom I've worked for the past three years. It's been a pleasure and a privilege to study with them all.  I read this poem out at the most recent Pub Poets night in Poulton.  If any of my graduating students are reading this, please be assured that this poem is dedicated specifically to you.

Those Who Are About to Graduate: We Salute You

So, now you’re a graduate – let’s give you three cheers
You’ve completed your studies without stabbing your peers
You have studied three years to earn this degree
And yet still you can’t use an apostrophe.

You have earned this award – we can see at a glance
You deserve it for dealing with Student Finance.
You’re now saddled with debt from exorbitant fees
And still you can’t use those apostrophes.

Your literature dissertation could not have been easier:
Thank Christ for York notes! God bless Wikipedia!
You’ve read Wuthering Heights and John Donne’s ‘The Flea’
Yet still you can’t use an apostrophe.

You now manage your work like the rest of us do
You can write a whole paper on the night when it’s due.
You’ve spent weeks before deadlines on a diet of coffee
But still you can’t use that apostrophe.

With that said, we salute you. Good job. Well done you.
You worked hard. You learnt lots. Let’s give credit where due.
Enjoy your achievement, education’s the key.
And one day, spare a thought for the apostrophe.

Ashley R Lister